FIVE THINGS I'VE GIVEN MYSELF PERMISSION NEVER TO DO AGAIN
- Drink a Manhattan. I've accepted the fact that I hate vermouth, and nothing's going to change that. My hatred might extend to sherry, too, but I'm not going to write that off just yet.
- Wear sparkly eye shadow. I had no idea how hideously glitzy it was until I made the mistake of wearing it in daylight. The horror.
- Play volleyball. I spent enough traumatic hours playing this cursed game in middle school to last me a lifetime. Bump this!
- Buy a book just because it was well reviewed in the Washington Post. I've finally finished clearing my shelves of all the dreck I bought on the Post's recommendation. Never again. I'm looking at you, Jonathan Yardley.
- Spend money or time on a trip to Disneyworld or any other Disney. I took one earnest trip there when I was eight, and one ironic one at nineteen. I've given enough of my life energy to the Mouse.